Well, first of all I should preface this by saying I don’t really care or follow politics (as I have stated many times before). In fact, I don’t even vote. However, I do live in the world, and I am a “netizen” as they say, so certain things are unavoidable. Although I do not care about it and strive to avoid what does not effect my day to day life and four walls personally, I still have to peripherally hear and read about stuff from time to time. Plus it’s just fun to talk about, so why not add my voice to the meaningless pile of voices out there currently.
1. Democracy is fake.
Kamala and Trump are basically the same. They both support genocide, they both suck Israel cock, and the idea that there was ever a choice is a total joke. Elections are an illusion, and none of this ever mattered. It’s all fake, faker than Tyson versus Jake Paul. That being said, this leads me to my next point.
2. We are a nihilistic species.
Since politics doesn’t matter, your votes don’t matter regardless of which side you choose, and democracy does nothing for you anyway, you might as well choose the side that will get the most attention at the time. If the response to The View asking Kamala what she would do differently was basically, “Nothing,” then in my opinion a reasonable response to that would be, “Fuck you then. In an era of mindless murder of children and babies we’re just gonna go for an all-out nihilistic option here. Fuck yourself.” The democrats needed to be punished for their arrogance, and so they were. This is corny and I’m sure 90 million people have already said it, but I can’t avoid the elephant in the room: one of the big things she ran on was abortion, but I think she has already killed enough babies for one lifetime in Gaza. She loves abortion so much she will volunteer others for abortions even if they’re already born! 9000th trimester, 4 years old, whatever, it doesn’t matter to her! Fuck her. She cares so much about women and their right to bodily autonomy except for when it’s Palestinian women. lol.
This might sound fucked up to say, but a lot of times these days whenever I hear something that is supposed to be sad regarding a decision Trump made, I think to myself, “Good. Fuck the world. Let’s get this shit over with faster.” Go ahead and tariff everything, what do I give a fuck? Nothing matters to me. I won’t be buying lumber or a car or whatever the fuck else it affects anytime soon because I’m poor. There are people smarter than me out there who might be able to tell me precisely how a tariff will effect me as a Canadian, but I really don’t care. I’m sure it will make gas or bread prices higher or something, but I think I enjoy seeing things continue to get more retarded and fucked up than I enjoy someone putting a band-aid over something. Go ahead and take a big giant dump on the world for all I care. Why not make bus tickets 90 million dollars. Or toilet paper 40 trillion dollars. Who cares anymore? Let’s just fast forward to the end and get this shit over with. Nothing matters anymore. (BTW: a recurring thing I keep hearing people upset about is how Trump wants to ruin the department of education. I can’t help but think, who gives a shit? It’s not like anyone was reading books or becoming scientists anyway. Most people are fucking morons who won’t amount to anything important, with or without government funding. It’s already over, and has been for awhile now).
3. Trump is hilarious.
This is just obvious. Not much needs to be said about this, but it holds true. Although he isn’t as funny as he was in 2016, he still has a couple of gems in him that are absolutely classic. I have noticed that in this run, compared to 2016, instead of having classic bangers in the form of really funny quotes, his thing this year has been more about iconic imagery. That’s what the McDonald’s thing was all about, and that’s what the assassination fist to the sky was all about. He’s the king of generating better content, and that’s what Kamala’s team doesn’t get. Trump is the kind of guy that will generate content himself, whereas Kamala’s the kind of person who depends on others primarily for content; there is an important distinction here, and one is clearly better than the other.
4. It makes the right people mad.
Seeing a guy like Jimmy Kimmel cry because Trump won is hilarious. Crying because of an election in general will always be cringe and funny, but the fact that it makes people like him upset is great. It just is, I don’t know why or what to tell you, but it just is. Maybe it’s because people are tired of hearing rich and famous people talk down to them and tell them what to think, but seeing a guy like Jimmy Kimmel cry on TV is such a great feeling. I think voting for Trump in a lot of ways is less about voting for him, and it’s more about voting against people that are cringe and annoying. It’s like a symbolic way of telling them to shut the fuck up for a few years. Which brings me to my last point.
5. Young men are disenfranchised.
This one has been discussed a lot lately. The election results have sort of become a way of dissecting male and female relations, what it means for the world, and what it means for men in particular. I’m not sure if any of the stuff people have said are right, but maybe there is a little bit of truth to it. I do think that a lot of people are a little sick of how the world has become a bit too open and loose lately, and voting for Trump is a way to sort of vicariously get some kind of power back. I mean to be honest with you, I’m 32 years old at the time of this writing, I will never get to own my own home, I am a complete failure by almost every measure that matters. No wife, no kids, no homeownership, no 6-figure career. Nothing of the sort. It feels terrible to say the least. And for the past 4 years I have had to watch the world get increasingly different. The energy has been very uncertain and feminine overall. I think one of the smartest things Trump’s team did was the campaign they created that went, "Kamala's for they/them. President Trump is for you." You can be upset or disagree about that statement, but the fact of the matter is it tapped into something very special and resonated with people. I mean, it’s almost like you’re not even allowed to say something like that. If a comedian like Dave Chappelle said something like that, even jokingly, he might be criticized in the media for days despite it being part of a comedy act. This was part of a political campaign, said seriously, and it made a strong impression on people. Anyway, I got off track there a bit, but my point in bringing all that up is that the world has sort of lacked a male presence or energy. There’s not even a Hangover franchise, no dirty comedy movies geared towards men being made anymore. We just don’t live in that world anymore. There is not much happening for men, and had Kamala won it would’ve been 4 years of people like Beyonce shaking their asses at political gatherings and we would’ve been told to be happy about that. As we continue to not have access to home ownership, jobs continue to wither away, and continue to feel emasculated and so on. Were young men really supposed to look at Joe Biden, for example, and feel like we were represented in the world? Joe Biden is a pathetic embarrassing retard, we all know that. Now, I’m not saying Trump represents the average guy or anything. All I’m saying here is that voting for him represents a sort of familiarity with patriarchy of the past and a vicarious symbolism. Just like how someone would watch porn in order to fantasize about themselves with the hot girl, that’s what voting for Trump is like: if I can’t own a house, afford a car, have a cool job, and have to feel like a loser in my day to day life, I might as well vote to remind myself of a different reality. I saw a funny tweet the other day that went something like, “When I was a kid apartments were $500, as soon as I became an adult they’re $2500.” This is precisely how I feel, and how I suspect a lot of other men feel in this world. There’s just no way of understanding this if you’re older than a certain age, but it’s kind of like how Charlie Brown would get the football taken away from him, but worse. And maybe for guys younger than me, it’s probably even way worse, because they didn’t even live in a time where dreams were possible to begin with. Imagine hitting puberty when something like Me Too happened and being made to feel that men are weird and gross; I can’t imagine what guys younger than myself must feel like. Just like Tony Soprano said in the first episode: we literally came in right as things were ending. We are fucked, everyone knows it, so rather than vote in more fake “progress” we can’t even benefit from, let’s tone it down a little.
Anyway, this was way longer than I wanted it to be. In short: life is fun and you should eat lots of chocolates! Good times! Yay!