On Feb. 28, I turned 27 years old. I first entered the workforce at the age of 12, writing for a newspaper. Since that time, for 15 years of my life so far (on and off), I’ve worked with various people in different types of jobs.
Throughout my working life I have had the unique perspective of being viewed by people at my different stages: I was once a kid everyone was nice to, going to meetings to plan out upcoming articles in giant sterile, intimidating boardrooms downtown Toronto. Then I was a pimply teenager working retail people were a lot less kind to. And now I’m in my late 20s, where there is a bit more of a balance; it’s that stage where people start to view you as an adult finally, yet they talk to you with that perfect balance of passive aggressive disrespect and civility that is prevalent in office settings.
I have dealt with both the true assholes of the workforce, and the good folks just trying to get by. I’ve dealt with bosses that were actually proudly SELF-PROCLAIMED “assholes” and bragged about that fact (because they felt it caused their employees to produce better work). And I’ve had awesome bosses that support their employees to the bitter end. I’ve been through the predictable cycle a couple times now and feel it necessary to comment on this.
In my experience, there is one phrase I have heard uttered by every single ineffectual boss I’ve ever had:
“We are SOLUTIONS people, not PROBLEMS people.”
I’ve heard that phrase, and variations of it (“Come to me with solutions, not problems!”) used by so many morons now it has become a huge red flag for me. Most recently, I was not surprised to hear this phrase spoken in the Netflix film “Fyre,” about the disastrous “Fyre Festival.” When serious problems arose, employees were apparently told, “We’re not a problems-focused group, we’re a solutions-oriented group, we need to have a positive attitude about this.” What a great solution: a positive attitude! That solves everything!!
This is a classic phrase business leaders who consider themselves intelligent love to throw around, but I’m sure I don’t need to remind anyone of how the Fyre Festival ended up. The issue with that line of thinking is that it completely ignores a whole spectrum of information that could very well help you on the road to “solutions.” In order to properly move forward there needs to be a healthy balance of both the diagnosis of a problem, and how it relates to the eventual solution. It can’t be one or the other, it has to be both. It’s like driving and switching lanes without looking over your shoulder or checking your blind spots/mirrors: you could switch lanes that recklessly, but why would you want to? You’re risking your life, and the life of everyone around you. Under the guise of what, being productive? It sounds smart, but it’s counter-intuitive.
Mark Zuckerberg could probably tell you that. The man we all love to hate has now gone down in history for not only creating Facebook, but for popularizing the phrase, “Move fast and break things. Unless you are breaking stuff, you are not moving fast enough.” This is kind of the equivalent of saying the old “problems/solutions” phrase business people love so much. And of course, it is problematic here as well; Zuck’s famous line was popular for awhile….until people finally started paying attention to what the guy was “breaking.” In his quest for technological advancement (if you want to call it that), he ended up “breaking” democracy, inadvertently created a whole new way for vulnerable people (young people especially) to feel depressed, gave a platform to various hate groups around the globe, etc.
“Moving fast and breaking stuff” is not the viewpoint of a visionary. Focusing on “solutions not problems” is not the stance of a great leader. They’re the words of selfish, immature, myopic grown-up children. Mark Zuckerberg may have created Facebook, but much like every boss in a corporate setting who has ever uttered that idiotic line regarding problems/solutions: he’s a goddamn manchild. He moved fast and broke things until it was time for the goddamn adults in congress to get involved and have a sit down with him. Laugh all you want about how little they understood about the internet, the fact that they had to speak with him at all is very telling.
That’s the tricky thing with bullshit lines like that: it seems like you’re being a really productive worker by forging ahead constantly. But how effective can you really be if you’re ignoring a whole world of issues you need to be paying attention to?
That leads me to another classic line all truly awful leaders love to say:
“That sounds like a personal problem.”
or
“That is your problem, not mine.”
Truly great leaders know that if they invest time into the wellbeing (or problems) of their employees, the quality of the work they should expect in return will increase tenfold.
…..But unfortunately, we’re living in an era of people that consider themselves “hustlers” who love stupid catchphrases, and life isn’t like that. Everyone likes their bullshit lines they think make them witty, “Work smarter, not harder!” I have a new phrase I’d like to popularize: “Work. PERIOD.” That means focusing on everything necessary. Good luck: it’s a motherfucking jungle out there, as Grandmaster Flash once stated. Keep your head up (as Tupac later advised).
