This year I stumbled across a documentary titled, TFW No GF, and I now consider it the best of this generation. Now, here’s the thing: it’s not a particularly well made film overall, it’s corny in places, and it falls into the trap a lot of shitty documentaries do where they try creating this odd, contrived beginning, middle, and end in order to make the film more sellable to buyers. The movie also feels weirdly unfocused at times and never quite finds its footing in some areas (it should have been a little longer and followed up on certain parts). But regardless of any flaws, what the film does remarkably well is painting a completely accurate portrait of the modern American male, and situating him perfectly in the hellish landscape he now finds himself in.
If you have heard anything at all about this movie, it has a reputation of being a movie about “incel culture.” On the surface it may seem that way, but I feel like viewing the film under such a dumb and restrictive label completely undermines what the hell the thing’s really about. Although that’s probably what the director was initially going for when beginning this project, and such a label might have attracted potential buyers, to me this is not a film about “incels” or dangerous young men. It’s actually a film about the complete breakdown of institutions, meanings, and structures that formerly held a great meaning for everyone in America. The young men featured in the film are only a small portion of what is currently happening all over the globe: with no jobs to turn to, no connections anywhere, and nobody to help, young men everywhere are retreating into their childhood bedrooms and finding community in some of the darkest corners of the internet. In other words, this isn’t a movie about a violent subculture, as certain journalists might have you believe, it’s a movie about a violent world that has carelessly thrown a certain segment of the population to the wayside.
One of the most striking things about this movie to me, as a guy living in Canada, is how eerily familiar the rundown shithole landscapes of post-2007 America are. Although we may live across borders, the feeling remains the same: there is a lack of soul and life in the modern world now, and young men especially are taking a hit. Everywhere you look, it’s the same types of buildings all over: Wal-Mart, liquor store, shitty pizza chain restaurant, shitty looking barely surviving factory, abandoned factory, another abandoned factory, liquor store, empty parking lot, etc etc. The only sign of life to be found among the wreckage (barely) are the surviving people: the young men that inhabit this film.
The world used to be a place where men were considered “breadwinners” who had high paying jobs, and they were considered cool for that very reason. Fast forward several decades later: we now live in a culture in which a lot of women seem to be doing way better than most dudes I know. This might be the first time in human history men are being absolutely buttfucked by the economy to such pathetic proportions it’s not even close: the patriarchy is already dead. Most men are not earning that much (if anything at all), and many of their women counterparts can’t seem to figure out why they “can’t find a good man” anymore. The answer can partly be found in TFW No GF: this society is broken, and the people in it are still reeling from events that occurred in 2007, etc.
As a NEET guy who is 28 years old and has never been able to afford to move out of his parents’ house, and most likely never will, this movie spoke to me in a profound way no other film has. What I loved about this documentary is that it really illustrated to me the simple truth that I am not alone; there are several young dudes out there right now who are just as utterly lost. Some reviewers seemed to take issue with this movie, and one guy even went as far as calling the film, “irresponsible.” People like that are dumb and have gotten the film entirely wrong. Those reviewers are probably doing well and have no clue what it’s like to wake up every single day of your life with the knowledge that it’ll never get better for reasons that are mainly out of your control.
Once again, it bears repeating: this is not a movie about “incel culture.” To me it’s partly a movie about the events that lead to that type of thinking. When your entire existence has completely turned sour, one of the only positive things left for you to do is take solace in dark humour, which is where a lot of these guys end up. A fraction of them end up acting out in unfortunate ways, but the movie does a great job at highlighting the other group: benevolent nihilists, as I like to call them. They may joke about murdering people or killing themselves or hating women, but they are just that: jokes. It’s almost impossible to live a life that is kinda shitty and not develop a dark sense of humour to go with it — it’s just part of the territory of the male psyche. There are scenes in this movie that I felt absolutely nailed this feeling: guys sitting on their computers for hours on end, scrolling, reading through dark Tweets, posting dark thoughts, etc. Boomers who are not well-versed with the internet will probably never get it, but that’s entirely on them and their limited comprehension skills.
The dudes in this movie are victims, not perpetrators. I know that sounds pathetic and sad to say, but it’s true. Some people only live in the cracks of society, and these are those dudes. If there’s one group of people I feel really bad for, it’s young men living in North America right now. We are a lost generation of people who will never experience the heights boomers did.
There are a couple of great quotes from the movie that sum up the message of it all perfectly, so I will leave you with a couple of my favourites below:
* “The future that was sold to me is a complete lie, so I’m just going to do nothing instead."
* “People used to graduate and go get a job, and that used to work pretty well for them. But now that’s impossible, you have no experience in anything, you’re from a small-town background and you don’t have any connections, so you end up living back at home, and your parents are telling you to apply to McDonald’s or something because it’s better than you staying at home.”
* “This is supposed to be the richest country in the world, but you’d never know it by looking at it.” (Not verbatim / Poorly paraphrased by me, I probably fucked it up)