I went to see Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master in 70mm in February, 2020. I didn’t know it at the time of course, but it would be the last film in an actual theatre I’d see for a year and 5 months. I think about that version of me sometimes, and it kinda feels like it was a different dude.
I don’t need to tell you what happened after that period, but I once had an editor that told me I should do stuff like that anyway because it’s about “painting a picture” for readers. Very briefly: a pandemic broke out that ripped the band-aid off of our society as we know it. For some people, the pandemic wasn’t really a big deal. Just a momentary hiccup before they could return to “normal,” as these types are fond of calling it. For others, it confirmed their darkest beliefs to be true. They weren’t just crazy doomers, the world really was the dark place they knew it to be all along. These people learned new things about themselves and decided to make some necessary changes moving forward.
I feel like I belong to the second group. Now that people are “double-vaxxed” there is this big push from our feudalist overlords to return to the same awful system that isn’t working for everyone. The only reason why things are opening up is because people are being used as guinea pigs: no one really knows for sure what’s happening with covid or the variants, etc. You go outside and whatever risk you take is pretty much on you.
The only real risk I am willing to take at this point is going to the movies, so I decided to go see Fast and Furious 9 the other day to see what the experience would be like. I’m not even a fan of the franchise, to tell you the truth. I mostly picked that specific movie due to its running time of 2.5 hours, which was the longest possible option I could have made. I figure if I’m going to see a movie I should pick the choice that takes me out of my current reality for the longest period of time.
The movie itself was fine. Incredibly boring dialogue and story punctuated by cool shit happening every once in awhile — exactly as expected. I haven’t even seen a Fast and Furious movie in 20 years, so I don’t really have any right to complain. I knew I wasn’t going to love it, and these movies are not really for me. Reviewing the film isn’t even the point of this, I want to discuss the experience itself for a moment and its relationship to where we currently are.
The rule for going to the theatre now, as I understand it, is that you’re supposed to wear your mask at all times other than when you’re watching the movie and eating popcorn and shit like that. That seemed okay because the social distancing of each reserved seat was fairly decent. I liked that aspect of the screening quite a bit: if someone purchases a ticket, the surrounding area of that seat can’t be used by anyone else.
The movie began with an awkward pre-recorded message that featured a couple of health care workers welcoming you back to the moviegoing experience, and talking about health and safety in a painfully strained way. They were clearly reading off a teleprompter and it looked weird as hell. Like they didn’t really want to be recording the message, but they were offered free popcorn or something. Then they showed a couple of trailers (that new G.I. Joe movie, and I can’t even remember the other one right now to be honest), and the movie began.
People at my screening mostly behaved themselves, with only the occasional person checking their smartphone every once in awhile to check the time. The ruinous glare of the iPhone screen was something I was worried about upon returning, but it wasn’t too bad, thankfully. It felt like most people were actually excited to be there and genuinely wanted to watch the movie, with their masks on their necks and keeping the laughter and whispering with friends to a polite minimum. 2.5 hours whizzed by faster than Vin Diesel can say the word “family,” and before I knew it I was out the door. I didn’t stay for the post-credits scene, I just dipped.
Overall it was an alright experience, but nothing I’d say is worth the money or the potential risk to my health. Maybe it’s just some kind of depression talking, but I do believe the experience of living through a pandemic has taken a bit of a toll on me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a goof who likes to do stupid shit like going to see sequels to a movie franchise I haven’t seen like 80% of. But it felt like something was missing. I’m not sure how to articulate this, it just felt like I was wasting my time until more awful stuff happens. When I was sitting there, I didn’t feel like, “We’re back, baby!!!” It felt more like, “I am going to try to enjoy this before they close this shit down again.”
Because the fact of the matter is, we’re in the middle of an ongoing civilizational collapse. What we were doing before was not right, and what we’re doing now isn’t right. It’s easier for some people to ignore what’s going on, and a lot harder for others. In plain terms, this is the score: we are going to be forced to reckon with ourselves for quite awhile, and a lot of people are not accepting that.
And there’s the problem that should be remembered: rich people got even richer during the pandemic, poor people got fucked. One of the side effects of this new world we’re in, aside from having to be careful about my health, is that I am now gonna be way more mindful of how I’m spending my money on shit. The economy is in the shitter, and will continue to be that way for awhile until it collapses fully, and it makes no sense to invest in other people’s horseshit. Whether that means not going to see all the movies, or cutting back in other ways, it will have to happen for me personally.
I don’t mean to sound like a stick in the mud, but I just felt like such a moron sitting there. I couldn’t stop thinking about how unsustainable the moviegoing experience really is. All that energy and shit being wasted so a few idiots can be entertained for a couple hours while there are other people in a hospital dying of bat AIDS: nothing about it makes sense. By going to see a movie it kinda means I have no right to complain because I’m part of the problem I hate. I had the thought, “Why isn’t anyone doing anything to stop the path we’re all on? We’re just gonna keep chilling, sitting here and pretending this is normal?”
I know, I know. I can already hear the, “You must be a lot of fun at parties,” line. I’m not saying I will never go to the movies ever again. All I’m saying is, once you see reality for what it truly is, there is no going back. I’m not a pollyanna here, I knew that society was founded on a bunch of bullshit and lies prior to the pandemic. It’s just harder to ignore these days. It feels like my new girlfriend told me she blew my best friend in her youth, and now I’ve got to try to be friends with the guy after finding out the truth. How does one go back to a society they don’t like after finding out what its built on?
The other big thing for me currently is that I am sick of the overconsumption and constant myth of progress being shoved into our faces like a throbbing cock all the time. You go see a movie, that means seeing a commercial for a vehicle you can’t even afford. That sucked ass before, but in an apocalypse it’s even worse. It means someone trying to upsell you on more shit like popcorn and sugary piss in addition to the ticket you paid for. It means wasting money you don’t have on shit you don’t even really care about. And if we really wanna get detailed here, it also means driving to the theatre, and putting a bunch of shit into the air that didn’t need to be there before. All this energy being burned so one fat lazy fuck can sit his or her ass down and watch a mediocre movie.
To give you an example of what I mean about cutting back: the next day, I wanted to go see The Forever Purge, a series that always feels very timely whenever a new movie for it comes out. While I was about to buy my ticket, I checked to see if it was online, and sure enough: it was available in full quality. I downloaded it instead and projected it on a wall at home: no need to waste all the money and energy going to the theatre anymore. I didn’t have any less of a good time, and I got to keep my $15. When the cost of living for everything goes up, you should say fuck the lemons and bail.
Once again, I reiterate: I am still going to go see movies when I want to. And there does need to be an outlet of some kind for people in a society this shitty. I fucking love movies, it’s one of my biggest interests, and I’ve always wanted to be a screenwriter & filmmaker. All I’m saying is I am going to try to be more conscious of what I’m spending my money on in the future. I don’t mean to sound like some kind of communist here, I’m just saying from now on I can’t have it straight, I will be taking my capitalism with a bit more milk. These days you are more likely to find me sitting in a field somewhere reading a book I got from the library than going to see a movie that probably sucks anyway. Or instead of reading I can just bring a notebook and write my own damn movie for fun and entertain myself for free. That’s the thing about life most people forget as they get away from childhood: the best things in life really are free if you work at it. I will probably pick my moments carefully moving forward if I do choose to go anywhere anymore (like going to see the new Wes Anderson film). If anyone wants my money they will have to work a lot harder for it now. I am tired of rich people profiting from misery and constantly doing well while things get shittier and worse for everyone else. And I think everyone should restructure how they participate in this shitty, shitty society.
