This is from a collection of essays I will be publishing at some point. I’m only going to be posting about 10% of the book on this website, and because I am always thinking about my writing and revising stuff this essay may be changed when it’s ready for the book. But this is free, so you get what you get.
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I’ve written about theories pertaining to art, and being a creative person in general before. One of the most important of these beliefs for me has been my insistence of being on the fringes of existence. What I mean by that phrase is not just being an outsider in life, but being aware of when you’re being pulled in by “insiders,” so to speak. Some people have called me a “loner,” which also fits instead of the pretentious sounding title I’ve given it, I won’t deny that. Whatever works for you, I don’t care. The point is: the more cognizant you are of being drawn in to be like everyone else (by discussing what everyone else is, and consuming what is currently popular), the less likely you are to lose your autonomy and the stuff that makes you a unique thinker.
I am not talking about being a hipster or one who is against all things considered popular on purpose, because there are cool current things that pop up from time to time (although it’s very rare and new stuff mostly sucks). I’m talking about regularly taking a step back from what’s going on, evaluating and navigating the world on your own. Very few people do this anymore. I’m always surprised by people’s willingness to accept certain things in our culture as commonplace. Spotify, for example, is something I’ve never understood why people subscribe to and waste their money on. Almost everything you could possibly think about is available for free on YouTube or other sources, so why would you pay for something new just because it exists? I suppose convenience is one reason, but the other reason to me seems to be the hive mind mentality and trap I’m referring to.
There’s a feeling I’ve noticed when I’m away from people for a long time. Sometimes, it doesn’t even need to be that long, it can be 15 minutes. It’s a strange observation I’ve made that I have nothing else to do with other than write about here. As I’ve mentioned in other essays, I prefer not to watch/read the news anymore, and I leave the phone in another room when I watch a movie so I can forget about my life on earth for a little bit. When I return to real life, it always feels weird for a couple minutes.
It’s strange to try to explain what I mean by any of this, but I’m sure everyone that has been to a movie in a theatre can relate to the feeling of exiting an auditorium and feeling a little weird for a couple minutes. That short window of time between being in the theatre and being outside and getting back to normal is very interesting. I feel myself slowly getting used to this reality again as I check my phone for the first time in 2 hours. There are a couple text messages, maybe a missed call from some fraudulent person, the usual. All of these things were not very important when I was in the movie theatre, but when I’m out my brain then has to accept everything all at once. It’s like the reality of my life is being rewritten again, and I have to relearn what’s what. I’ve had a similar feeling when going from an isolation tank for an hour to returning to life.
This is a very fleeting, deep state that represents something very valuable. To me this is a big reminder that a person should always be aware of their own brain and individuality. As a human it’s easy to get swept away in what the general consensus is saying, but to do so would be making a big mistake. Being too invested in what is going on externally might actually be harmful to you internally. It sounds very simple and dumb to say, but it’s true: you should be mindful about how important whatever it is you’re putting into your brain really is, because nothing matters.
I’ve talked about how people should refrain from watching the news too much before, and that example is relevant here as well. As an example, in the news recently there was a really tragic story that involved a large number of deaths. This is a terrible, sad thing of course, but it serves no real purpose to my life other than having to keep up with others conversationally, which further brings my energy down to a lower state and wastes my time. Nothing about this news story is helpful to where we are in 2021 because absolutely nothing will get done about it. What am I supposed to do with the information that several people died a long time ago nowhere near me? How is it going to guide my behaviour or the rest of my day? Yes, it is obviously terrible that it happened, but all it does is make people talk for a little bit, pretend to be good people, share informational slides on Instagram that achieve nothing of value whatsoever, and then they ultimately move on. In the long run, if you think about it, the only thing that ever happens because of any news story is wasting everyone’s time. This type of thing would never happen if you were disciplined about being on the fringes of existence. The further you get from the crowd, the healthier your brain feels. It’s a matter of basic situational awareness: you only really need to know what’s going around you and what affects you in your immediate area, you don’t really need to know more than that.
Instead of focusing on dumb short-term news stories and conflicts of that kind, people should instead focus on matters of nature and the heart. Things that will stand the test of time that you will remember forever. News about the climate emergency is probably the only thing I care about at this point, because it’s the only thing that will potentially have a difference on my life. Politics and that kind of thing has no bearing on me because whatever will happen is going to happen regardless. I don’t really believe one person can make a difference, so there’s no use worrying about it.
The best representation I can think of regarding being on the fringes of existence: there’s a big field near me I like to walk to when I feel very stressed out. Whenever I’m there, the longer I gaze at the hills and all the green land, the more everything bothering me seems to dissolve. And in its place, after all the thoughts causing me agitation in some form go away, I find I come up with better ideas for my work, and helpful thoughts in general. It serves me in no way at all to worry about covid cases, variants that are happening, what some politician said, who some actor is getting involved with…it’s all meaningless stuff designed for you to talk about it and waste your time. Every second you waste talking about it and worrying about that stuff is potential capital lost from your own life because you’re not working on something instead.
People are cyclical and predictable, and I think they are more likely to be dumber when they’re together than when they’re alone. When people get together awful things can happen if everyone has negative energy and they all motivate and feed off each other. The idea of the hive mind should always be remembered and avoided. One must be conscious of group thinking, and try to decipher if they arrived at a decision or thought on their own or due to others. There is very little originality in this world anymore because most people are deriving their ideas from the same sources, people, and influences. Most folks like to think they’re unique individuals, but the truth is a lot scarier: we’re just the sum total of various things we happen to be paying attention to at that particular moment in our lives.
It gets more difficult to be on the fringes of existence when you’re in certain situations you cannot get out of, like a workplace environment with bad co-workers or if you’ve got a bad home life situation, but the more you practice being cognizant of other people’s nonsense the better you’ll get at avoiding it. Good luck.