“From this day forward, Philip would never invest that much of himself in anybody else. Instead, he’d live the rest of his life unwilling to so much as consider emotional honesty, and deeply wary of those that attempted to get close to him, a pattern of behaviour that ultimately left him an isolated and emotionless spectre, forever remaining a mystery even to himself.”
-Listen Up Philip (2014)
“I don't negotiate with emotional terrorists.”
-Anna Khachiyan
***
Every once in awhile the media will do a piece on lonely, angry young men. It could either be due to a slow news cycle, or some kind of mass shooting or some other violent event. Or it could be due to politics. Or what is being labelled, “the rise of fascism.” Or it could be popular figures like Andrew Tate going viral for his views on masculinity, and (the artist formerly known as) Kanye West flirting with Nazi ideology and bringing a bunch of dark shit we didn’t ask for to all of our feeds. Or or or or or. Maybe there’s no explanation. Maybe, as Kanye West once said….we’ll never know! *Drops mic, walks away, dives into the ocean*
But anyway, regardless of what causes this cultural flareup, the discussion always comes up at least like 3 times a year. And then inevitably, people on Twitter (you know: all those Rhodes scholars they have on there giving their brilliant opinions😂) will bicker about it for a couple days or so before the conversation dies down (and gets started up again in like 2 months). Given the fact that I myself am a very lonely angry young man™, I would like to take the opportunity to talk about some shit in no particular order. Why are so many of us like this? What happened to us? Why are so many young men so angry and lonely these days? There are a lot of factors here, this is gonna be a messy and in no particular order. So here goes, put on your 3D glasses😎
First of all, a disclaimer I have to give is that if you’re not in the position to read without getting offended, just leave right now. Don’t read the rest of this if you’re the type of feminist who is more inclined to get upset/argue/condescend than learn and be curious. I’m not the enemy, I’m not the patriarchy, I’m just some loser who lives with his parents😂. The other main thing to remember here before we even start to talk about any of this shit is that men and women will never understand each other 100%. We are fundamentally different, and it is just impossible for us to know what it is truly like for the other. This, I think, is where the vast misunderstanding lies. I will never know what it’s like to have a period or give birth (thank god), and they will never know what it’s like to feel the pain and loneliness a man who feels that way feels. The pain and loneliness of being a man is kind of our “period,” so to speak. Except it’s not really once a month for a week….it’s forever. Haha.
Sometimes when I talk to women about certain things, I feel the same way as when I (try to) talk to one of my white friends about racism: they will just never understand. We live in two completely different realities. That’s just how it is. I used to get upset and frustrated about this in my 20s, and try my best to articulate it to white dudes, but now I just don’t bother. It’s absolutely pointless, because they live in a different world. I am not saying they’re dumb and they’ll never get it, because they’re educated and can read statistics and they might have some idea. But at the same time, it’s not even fucking close. Watching a guy slip on a banana peel and feeling it yourself are two different things.
So anyway, that being said, let me get back to the topic. I am not an incel these days. I can go out and get strange whenever I want, and it’s really not that difficult. Especially if you’ve got money….you can literally just go buy pussy if you want. Like it’s fuckin weed at the weed store, society has devalued everything. Everything is for sale these days, haha. Nothing matters anymore, it’s a post-meaning society. However, I am trying another idea out currently; these days I would consider myself MGTOW, but not in the way Wikipedia describes it, which is a weird woman-hater type of movement. (BTW that reminds me of an issue I have with women: whenever they’re losing an argument, they attempt to reframe it or pivot and change the topic altogether to make it look like they’ve won, when all they’ve really done is change the foundation of the original argument. In the case of this MGTOW stuff, they have redefined it to make it seem like a hate group when it really isn’t. It’s more of a peaceful protest, haha). My definition of it is much different than what it says on Wikipedia…to me it’s just chilling. Reading a book. Listening to music. Good vibes. That sort of thing. If being incel is like the atheism of getting pussy, MGTOW is like the agnosticism. I don’t give a fuck either way. I think it’s the best decision a guy like myself could make at this stage in life, and I will attempt to do both here: clarify MGTOWness, and explain reasons for the angry young men phenomenon thing (in no particular order).
1. Feminism and Traditional Gender Roles
It used to be that women wanted to be equal. That is basically the point of feminism and the dictionary definition of it: the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. Historically, women have been treated horribly. They could not vote, they were sexually assaulted at places like fucking WORK of all places. I have read insane things about what they’ve gone through. One example that comes to mind: I was recently reading this Joni Mitchell anecdote (in one of her interviews) where she said there was some record exec dude that would jack off, cum on the desk, and make his secretaries watch. And that was the norm. The whole culture was like that. Harvey Weinstein wasn’t the only one doing stuff like that, he was the only one that happened to get caught. Just….awful. Abhorrent, monstrous behaviour that today’s men (hopefully) do not really do anymore. And the fact that men did this kind of stuff merely because they had the power to do so is disgusting. It says a lot that a whole generation of men acted and behaved a certain way merely because they could. Feminism was quite necessary, because their male counterparts were quite insane, to put it mildly.
The other thing to change was equal pay, and women having so much independence, and so forth. It used to be that feminism’s whole thing (aside from what I just mentioned) was also to fight for women’s right to earn just as much (and more) than a man could. They fought for their right to make money and have freedom (and got it). It’s now kind of goofy to argue about equal pay when we live in a world where the average Hollywood actress, for example, makes more in a day than I will in my entire life, probably. It’s comical for anyone like that to lecture men about equality anymore because…they’ve got it. There’s nothing to complain about lol.
So where am I going with this? The problem I think a lot of men have nowadays is that feminism has gone past the point of what its original purpose was, and it has made women….well…less feminine, ironically. I know this might piss off people who consider themselves feminists and that kind of thing (which is not my intention, but you are free to feel that way). I can already hear someone saying/typing, “If a woman making more money makes you feel bad, you’re insecure!” But that’s not what I am trying to say. What I am trying to say is that feminism has outlived its purpose, and it has gotten to the point where even certain women don’t know what they fuck they’re fighting for anymore. I am not the first person to say this or feel this way, nor am I the only one: there are whole groups of women out there calling themselves, “Tradwives,” who agree with me and would like a return to traditional gender roles. Look it up, lol. It is hard for a woman to look at a dude as cool if she is more powerful than him. The feminist argument to this is that there are many other ways we can look cool, such as being there to emotionally support them and so forth, but in the end it still comes down to women basically not needing us like they used to historically.
Take a look at an article like this, for example. Emily Ratajkowski says, “Men have said, ‘I like independent women. I want somebody who doesn't need me.’ There’s this sort of toxic association with femininity and neediness.” To be perfectly honest with you, and I’m not just saying this for the purpose of this piece, but I don’t think any man has ever said this, and I’m not sure where she got this from. If I had a girlfriend who didn’t need me, I would be wondering what the fuck I was doing in her life. She has it all twisted. Anyway, she goes on to say, “What I hate with dating — with men, in particular — is I feel like they're like, ‘OK you're special and you've done it’ and they love it ... And then slowly they get emasculated, and they don’t know what to do with those feelings, and they resent you, and then they start to tear you down. And then you’re just back to square one.” In my opinion, again, this is the opposite of what is really happening. If a woman is as powerful and attractive as Emily Fucking Ratajkowski, of course she is going to start to look at the men in her life as less powerful than her. If men in her life are emasculated, it’s because she has no real need for them, she is looking down on them first, and they can probably sense it. Women can practically do whatever they want. They’ve never had this much freedom before in human history. That’s just how it is, and they are the ones who made things that way. Just like Dave Chappelle said about chivalry being dead…they killed it. (Not to mention, most people don’t like being told they’re wrong or hearing constructive criticism. I’ve never met her, but I’m sure a woman like Emily Ratajkowski is not used to being disagreed with, especially by the men in her life, because they all want to smash. We’re living in a world now where the dude is always automatically wrong no matter what, and the woman’s opinion is what takes precedence. She got divorced from her husband, for example, and the narrative is that he cheated on her. So he’s automatically a bad guy, case closed. But no one has argued this or asked why he felt he had to go out and cheat on such a hot woman (I’m guessing because it’s both: he was a piece of garbage, and she was probably not doing certain things in bed. Lots of hot women are boring like that).
I think a lot of women these days kind of want to have their cake and eat it too, but that’s just not how traditional gender roles have ever worked in the past. Now, I am not saying it’s impossible to work the way they’d like it to, but I’m saying feminism hasn’t ever defined what this type of unabashed independence means for men (at least not that I’m aware of). It has always been our role to define what it means, but when we do that it now becomes “toxic masculinity,” or we get censored and our views conveniently become hateful when they don’t agree (such as MGTOW being banned off Reddit and labelled anti-feminist, etc). It’s like we can’t even talk or define it anymore.
I mean, think about it in terms of who fucks more these days: women are promiscuous. They can go out and fuck almost whoever they want, whenever they want. (Funny: when I started writing this Emily Ratajkowski was single, and I just saw some story that said she’s dating Eric Andre now, haha. I wonder whose choice that was? lol). For men, it’s not really like that anymore. We don’t get to decide, they do. Women have kind of become the new men, lmao. Just going around buttfucking dudes with their giant clits🤣. Sorry for that image LOL. Feminism used to be about equality, now they make more money than us, they are running shit, it’s their world. It’s not about equality anymore, at this point whenever women talk about men being angry young men or whatever, it feels like they’re “punching down” haha.
The last thing I’d say about this one is this: I feel like culture sometimes is a pendulum. It goes from one way to the other, just like how politics works: sometimes the culture shifts from left wing and then to right wing. You can see this clearly by the types of figures the culture is embracing currently, and things that are going viral these days. For example: I don’t think there’s a guy in the news who seems to get around with women more than Pete Davidson. It used to be that a “man’s man” was a Don Draper type, but because of how confused everyone is, it seems like masculinity is being redefined by people and no one’s sure what it means anymore. So it now becomes a weird looking dude who women seem to flock to; I don’t get the sense that Pete Davidson is actually making any decisions or pursuing any of them, but rather them preying on him, and sure enough, they all end up getting sick of him at some point (because feminism is doing them a disservice but they don’t want to admit it). The other cultural figure you can see this “pendulum” concept clearly with, is a guy like Andrew Tate: his vision of masculinity is silly and almost cartoonish in nature. And who was his most recent enemy? Literally a little girl. To me that is a sign of the times, and perhaps a gut reaction to what is going on: some people are so sick of female empowerment and women power and girl bosses this and that, they are going the complete opposite way. It’s a cultural pendulum.
Another example or symbol of the times: Princess Harry and his husband Meghan Markle, lol. This is a dude who is letting the woman in his life completely run things, and it has gotten to the point where he has turned his own back on his damn family. She was literally just some broad on some goofy game show, then starred on some stupid B-show no one intelligent watches, perhaps only normies, and now she’s a member of the royal family. She managed to con her way into being considered royalty, and she isn’t even that special! If that isn’t a sign of the times I don’t know what is. Everyone is sick of them: men and women. She’s got him acting like a little bitchboy and now we’re all forced to learn the information of their lives against our will every day. If he had a spine at all he wouldn’t have let it get this far and he would’ve just straight up gotten a better wife lol. (To give you a better example of this: he didn’t even meet her in person, he met her on Instagram. That’s the most passive, female 21st century shit I’ve heard in all my days! Men aren’t even men anymore lmfaooooo😂).
2. Capitalism = Everyone’s Lonely.
This affects everyone. I don’t need to get into this one too much, because we all feel it. With gruelling work schedules, and how atomized everyone is…there is no room for community. Not to mention how competitive everything has become and hustle and grind culture this and that…how else are you supposed to feel? I don’t think I’ve felt more alone in my life than I do right now in this modern era. I have no time for friendships, I have no time for going on dates. When I’m off work I spend that time catching up on rest and working on my own damn sanity. The world feels increasingly like a hellish nightmare in which my whole test is to keep my wits about me. People send me texts linking me to stupid bullshit ass tiktok videos, or YouTube shit wasting my time. No one ever asks how I’m doing. It’s a grim, lonely, dark, dark era in history. When you couple this with the fact that men are not the best communicators in the world (compared to women), of fucking course there are so many lonely angry young men out there. There are dudes not getting pussy (not even buying it), not socializing with people naturally (I mean something without a screen), spending all day in some discord shithole, and then when they speak up in the only (limited) manner they know how, they are bullied by women and labelled “incels” and whatever else. It’s just an unhealthy state of affairs overall, men and women.
3. People are v picky.
There’s a phrase my mom says. I think it’s West Indian, a Caribbean thing. She says, “Young people have no staying power.” What this means is, young people don’t have the strength or determination to make things like a relationship work anymore. They think it’s just love and Disney and fun and games, but it’s hard work and commitment. Young people to me seem to like the idea of being in a relationship more than actually doing it. They’re all pussies.
I think this applies once again to both men and women: people are so picky these days they want to choose their mates like it’s a fucking customizable object at the Apple store, and they want to be able to take it back for refunds when it doesn’t work out. Real life is not like that. Almost every woman I know who complains about how she can’t find a good man these days reeks of the same problem: they are too picky. They do not want to settle for a dude if they think they can do better. It’s bad for us to say we are not attracted to people like Fatso, sorry, I mean Lizzo🤣. But when they’re picky it’s empowering and blahblahblah. I find it very hypocritical and straight up wack! We living in the upside down these days dog lol. And a lot of men are so warped by unrealistic media representations of women (and their addiction to online pornography), they will not settle either.
I know I make a lot of jokes about how I want a Farrah Fawcett broad, and I am no different: personally, I work out 5 times a week and have a job, and I would not want to settle on a woman that does not take care of herself and work hard. There is also just the issue of my own inner peace and mental clarity, I am guilty of the same thing I am talking about here: I think even hot women these days are more annoying than they are pretty, and it’s not that worth it to me. To be honest with you, and I know this might sound absolutely insane, I don’t even think I would date Emma R (not that she would want a loser librarian fella like me anyway, lmfao) because she seems like the type of girl who wouldn’t really be a good conversationalist or listener at all. She would just talk and expect you to agree with everything she says like every other man in her life. And then she’d call you gay if you didn’t like her instead of taking responsibility for her shitty attitude, like they usually do lol. It seems like it would be way more work than it would be peaceful, and that’s what my mom means about “staying power.” Older generations had it. We don’t.
(I would only be willing to completely contradict what I’ve said here if I could find a girl that looks like my exact preference, listens/talks normally, a good conversationalist, enriches my life in some way, which is not going to happen. I am exactly like what I am criticizing here, I am not willing to compromise myself either, so it’s ultimately not worth the headache. I’d rather be alone and peaceful than with someone mid and stressful).
4. No purpose / Economy
This one is pretty obvious and straightforward: young men these days have no purpose anymore, and if they do, it doesn’t feel right or mean the same thing it did for their fathers. The fact of the matter is, it is the most depressing time to be alive in decades. I could list everything wrong with the world, but I won’t. If you’re familiar with my writing you already know what’s up: the collapse, zero world leaders doing anything about it, zero upward mobility, etc etc etc etc. So what happens when your purpose in life is gone? Nihilism creeps in, among other things. I am not saying this is a correct response, but at the same time: why should a man give a fuck about a society in which he is undervalued? At a certain point one can no longer lie to themselves, must admit they are doomed, and I think that’s what a lot of dudes are doing now.
The jobs and careers aren’t there for young men, and even if they were….this society’s got like less then a couple decades left, and we can all sense this. There is no point to anything anymore other than just enjoying the time you’ve got left. And that’s what I’ma do!
Thank you and bye byeeeeeeeeeee