CHAPTER 3: ROCKY ROAD
Roger turned a corner, following the elves’ footsteps. Faster than he could comprehend, he saw a sign that read: ROCKY ROAD.
“You must must duck,” warned the elves.
The boy didn’t follow instructions quickly enough, and he was tackled to the ground with a loud THUD. Someone or some being had just forced him to fall down, and he didn’t know what it was. When he sat up, he realized he couldn’t just stand up right away. He was in pain.
“Idiot. Genius. What the hell was that?”
“Oh no. It looks like….a Sveltrex!! Must be one of the biggest we’ve ever seen!”
“I didn’t even know they were real until right this moment.”
“It must be the same Sveltrex that escaped that hole in The Forest of Lillyballs!”
“You’re right: the same hole I fell in! This is interesting…I didn’t know they were real!!!”
The Sveltrex - a creature that was a mix between a horse and some type of alien - galloped its way back to where Roger was still sitting.
“They’re real. They’ve always been around, you just didn’t know.”
“I wish I still didn’t know.”
The Sveltrex kicked its legs into the ground, throwing dirt into Roger’s face.
“Roger, it’s challenging you to a duel.”
“No way, I’m not gonna fight that thing!”
“You have to, or it won’t leave you alone.”
“Alone, alone, alone.”
Roger looked at the beast, trying to figure out an angle he could take in this battle. There was no way around it: Roger was going to get seriously hurt if he tried to do this. The horse side of the creature gave it tremendous strength, and the alien side added an air of mystery. There was no telling what could happen next. No amount of strategy or planning could help him; it was far too late.
“Is there anything you can help me with? I can’t do this,” the boy told his elf companions.
“Well….like we said earlier…..this is part of your journey. There are some things we cannot help you with.”
The Sveltrex snarled at Roger, anticipating the moment he could beat the shit out of him.
“We can do one thing for you though…”
“What?”
“We’re allowed to telekinetically give you good vibes. That’s all we’re allowed.”
“Okay fine, I need all the good vibes I can get.”
“Okay. Okay. Just just listen listen. Listen.”
The elves held hands and changed colours as they recited:
There are things in life we must do on our own.
The path is stained with flesh&bone.
But if you ride the waves of good vibes.
You just might be able to survive.
They calmed down, returned to their previous colour, and stopped holding hands. Roger felt the message shoot through him, and he felt every word of their elf chant. It was finally time to start the first real fight of his life.
The Sveltrex roared in Roger’s face, and his breath was hot and awful. It almost caused Roger to pass out completely, ending the fight before it even began. Roger slapped himself awake with his bare hand, forcing his mind to stay alert no matter what he might have to smell. He held his nose as he tried to remain in the fight. The Sveltrex could sense Roger was already quite vulnerable despite the fact the fight had not truly started yet. It appeared as though the beast made the decision to do something that would hurt Roger without the creature having to put in any effort at all.
The Sveltrex whipped its tail, hitting Roger with a deadly SMACK. Roger fell to the ground and struggled to regain his composure. He looked at this big, scary animal and thought about how great it would be to eat it. He wasn’t just killing this thing because of the fight, it would also be great meat to feast upon with the elves later that night. This fight was quite literally a game of life or death: if he won, he got to eat. If he lost, he’d be someone’s lunch.
With a renewed sense of energy driven by Roger’s hunger, he ran at The Sveltrex with full force. When he could not run any further, he jumped and stabbed the creature with a small knife (he brought from home) as many times as he could. He must have gotten about 7 or 8 decent stabs into The Sveltrex before it retaliated. Angry and in severe pain from the entry wounds, the creature kicked the boy as hard as it possibly could. Roger was kicked so hard he was tossed into the air - where he was flying for about 15 full seconds - and landed about 60 feet away.
Roger’s whole body was sore now. He felt like his whole body was on fire. There was no way he would be able to keep this fight going, he was fucking done. The Sveltrex stared at him angrily.
At that moment, Roger remembered the IslandComavand his mother had given him in the flask. He took a sip of the rare elixir, and put the flask back into his satchel.
The Sveltrex couldn’t take it any longer; it began galloping toward Roger.
The boy didn’t know what came over him, but he thought of the craziest idea: he would wait for the beast to get to him, and at the last second he would jump. When The Sveltrex almost completely trampled Roger, he jumped and soared in the sky high above everyone. The elves stared at him in amazement.
Roger then began falling back down,
he
eventually
landed on
The Sveltrex.
**** ooooofffffff *****
The creature was disoriented from the impact of the fall. To be on the safe side, while the beast was in such a poor shape, the boy grabbed it by the head and twisted its neck with force. It made a loud, dry, cracking sound.
“He’s fucking dead! I can’t believe it!!”
Roger looked at the now dead creature, astonished at his victory.
“Hey, fuck you bud!” yelled Roger, allowing himself to bask in the win for a bit.
“Congrats Roger! Your first win!!” said Idiot.
“It was the IslandComavand!” said Genius.
“Not just that: thanks for the support and good vibes. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You’re on the road to good things.”
“Thanks.”
“Now, let’s fry up this Sveltrex. It’s gonna be delicious.”
At that exact moment of happiness, a pointy arrow landed right inside Roger’s foot.
“MY FOOT! MY FUCKING FOOT. SHIT. FUCK.”
“Roger, don’t move! Don’t don’t. Move move.”
“Don’t move!!!”
“Don’t don’t don’t dooooon’t move.”
“MY FUCKING FOOT….IT HURTS SO MUCH.”
“Rogerroger, hold still for a second second second.”
The elves took a good look at the arrow. After a moment, they had a severe look on their faces.
“What?”
“The arrow. It’s got the marking of a gang. The Swamp Rats.”
“Oh great. Those assholes. Just what I need.”
“They probably saw you killed The Sveltrex and they want to kill you and keep it for themselves. They’re cannibals; they don’t care as long as it’s meat.”
“Well shit….what do I do?”
Roger’s foot was bleeding and he couldn’t really move. The arrow had rendered him useless.
The Swamp Rats were now making their way to the three of them. They were holding pitchforks, and torches.
“What are we gonna do?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of this.”
The elves then left Roger, and walked in the direction of where the arrow came from. The last thing he saw before passing out was Idiot&Genius holding hands, and turning a bright, glowing, neon blue.
******
When Roger woke up, he found himself at the side of a small campfire.
“He’s he’s awake awake.”
“Awake. Awake awake.”
“Where are we?”
“Don’t worry about it. Here, have some food. It’ll help you get better.”
The elves tossed Roger some fried Sveltrex. He ate until he could almost feel his stomach burst; it was the best meal he had ever eaten in his entire life. He was eating the memory of his first major fight on the road to meeting this wizard. It was a monumental moment Roger would remember for the rest of his days; even if he never found success later in life, at least he always had this magical memory.
He looked down at his foot: the elves had already worked their magic. Roger could barely feel where the arrow had pierced through his flesh. It was almost like it never happened.
“Hey, how did you guys heal this so fast?”
“Don’t worry about it. We’re elves.”
“Why don’t I feel any pain?”
“We gave you some heroin to calm you down.”
“What!? Are you kidding me?”
“We’re fucking JOKING. It’s a JOKE, cocksucker! Lighten up! You’re alive, ain’t you? You fucking won and you’re still acting like you lost, kid. Here. Eat this.”
The elves tossed a leg of fried Sveltrex to Roger, and he gobbled it up happily. They continued eating in fulfillment&silence until the remains of the beast were no more.