MEANINGLESS MAGAZINE is a comedy/philosophy website with writing on it.

ON BOXING FOR ARTISTS

I wrote this for someone and I’d like to share this for anyone trying to break free from destructive habits like drinking or other shit in 2020. Instead of drinking alcohol or something like that you should BOX bro. Especially if you consider yourself to be any kind of artist, you should seriously consider taking up boxer training. A lot of people drink on weekends to forget how much they hate their lives, but I think boxing is a lot better. Why take out that anger on yourself when you can imagine you’re punching one of your enemies in the face instead? It’s like anger masturbation: you can punch a heavy bag and put anyone’s face there in your mind that you want.

Here are a couple other reasons why you should get into the practice:

-You learn a lot about yourself when you have to hit a heavy bag or an opponent; your abilities as a human, what you need to stop doing in order to win, what you need to keep doing or do less of, etc. As you learn more about yourself as a boxer you’re kind of forced to become a bit more disciplined with your choices because it can mean winning or losing. If you don’t make the right choices it’s like life or death! All of that translates perfectly well to being a disciplined artist.

-You get to see exactly how far you’re capable of going as a person, and you learn how to balance your energy effectively and aim it in the right areas!

-I think of boxing as a great, almost perfect metaphor for life: you’re faced with adversity every single day you leave your home. It’s you against the world every damn time you go outside. Boxing teaches you how to handle immediate setbacks that hit you right in the face.

-The other thing about boxing for me is that it’s one of the few sports that is such a clear example of how we’re all alone in the universe. There is no “team” in boxing, it’s just one person against another person. If you’re not doing well against another fighter it’s pretty obvious. Just like a painter or someone playing an instrument: it’s just one person attempting to make the right choices in order to achieve the right result.

The way I got started was: in 2015 the Antoine Fuqua directed boxing movie SOUTHPAW was released. I was reading about what the training is like. So I decided to drop a bunch of money on some Everlast shit: a big ass heavy bag, boxing gloves, the whole works. The idea of “investing in yourself” is a big thing for me: if you spend money on bettering yourself, it’s almost like you never spent that money at all (and your new skills or knowledge might possibly help you earn that money back in some form). I’m such a scrawny piece of shit that when the UPS guy delivered the stuff he took a look at me, then the box, then me again, and he was like, “Wait……this stuff is for you? I thought this was for a gigantic bodybuilder or something.”

Since then I’ve gotten into the practice of a boxing routine with the heavy bag and jumping rope, etc. I think it has made a difference in my work. I would strongly recommend it for the creative type: it forces you to think on your feet a bit more not just as a boxer trying to stay in shape, but how you approach whatever your medium of art is.

IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME is still the greatest novel ever written.

A Brief Note on “AUTOMATICALLY BEAUTIFUL”