MEANINGLESS MAGAZINE is a comedy/philosophy website with writing on it.

An easy way to make money.

People seemed to enjoy my article “What I would do if I was a hot girl,” so here is another great way to make money if you’re lost in the world and unsure of what to do with your life. The economy is poor right now and you may be struggling to find work, but don’t worry: this will work for you.

As technology continues to exploit politics for engagement on their platforms, and the news continues to prey on people’s fears and monetize it, humanity is the dumbest it’s ever been. It’s a gold rush on idiocy right now. If you’re even slightly intelligent, this is something fairly easy you can do to great effect as a career.

A profitable thing you can do right now is to pick a political side, and make a YouTube channel or podcast for that position. Make an hour-length show every single week dissecting what is happening in the news, under the lens of the stance that you have chosen. It may take some time, but if you’ve got a flagrant position you pretty much definitely will gain some kind of fanbase. At that point, you can sell merchandise like t-shirts and hats to these drooling morons, and they’ll buy them willingly in order to support what they believe is “the truth.” In fact, the more you use phrases like, “I’m a truth teller,” the better: your audience will see you as some kind of martyr in an era in which they feel nobody else is speaking up.

It’s important to remember: it doesn’t matter if you don’t actually believe in what you’re saying, in fact, the dumber it is, the more useful it will be for acquiring an audience. It also doesn’t matter if you’re convincing people who aren’t intelligent and have no critical thinking skills to give you money and become your fans: this is just business. This is no different than a convenience store clerk selling a can of pop to an old lady who has diabetes: the clerk is just doing their job, it doesn’t matter if they probably have a moral code they follow outside of work.

We can see this business model in people like Tomi Lahren, Ben Shapiro, Alex Jones, or Milo Yiannopoulos. It really doesn’t matter what you think about them, if they’re right or wrong, if they themselves believe in what they’re saying: it’s all just business.

The key thing to remember in life is that, as humans, our feelings don’t really matter. We think they do, and they teach us they do in school. But if you think about it: they should be teaching us the opposite. That’s how the real world operates. If you buy a lottery ticket and you lose, you should not be sad, the lottery ticket did not do anything to hurt your feelings, it has no conscience. If you ask a cute girl out and she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, the correct response is not to become an incel and run over a bunch of people in your vehicle. The right response would be to go, “Yes, of course she would say no. The way her brain operates makes her think she is attracted to guys that are a certain type that I am not. The way my brain operates made me think she would like me, but it’s a faulty system. My feelings don’t matter, my feelings never matter, life is meaningless, it’s time to move on. Maybe I’ll stay home and watch Boardwalk Empire now.”

The masses of humanity like to think that we matter and that all our hopes and dreams are important, but that’s just the trick of the ego. We should always remember that we are just spirits. We’re like sailboats passing through the world, part of something bigger than ourselves. But most people don’t really view life that way: they think they’re special, even if it’s on a really low level. They’re reactive, and only see life as it occurs right in front of them. The more you’re able to distance yourself from your own brain and turn this weakness into a strength, the better the chances are you will become a financial success as a controversial political commentator.

That’s why this strategy works so well: if people agree with your stupid political take, they’ll share it. And if they disagree with you, they’ll still share it because it may make them laugh and make them feel better about themselves for seeing how wrong they perceive you to be. It’s a win-win: the first group shares the content, and you’re a hero. The second group shares the content despite hating you, but your content is still getting engagement. You win, everyone else loses. Either way, you become a famous figure — it doesn’t matter what for.

Reality simply does not matter. You can see this in social media profiles of people who are generally unproductive in life, but they put things in their bios like: “Toronto Based Artist!” Or “Brooklyn Based Photographer.” These people have created this bio for themselves, and it doesn’t matter if it’s true: it’s there, so it must be true. Look at the average caption on Instagram a hot girl writes: it’s rife with spelling errors, and it still gets hundreds of likes. Now look at the caption of an actual accomplished author: no spelling errors, and probably significantly less likes. The hot girls have figured out the system by posting images they know will get a response, meanwhile the people who are supposedly more intelligent are struggling to get engagement because they still think rules matter. Reality isn’t important, integrity doesn’t matter, rules don’t matter, and most people are sheep who are reactive: it’s important to remember all of this for yourself so you can get ahead in life should you choose this route.

By creating a fake political persona for yourself, you can make lots of money saying insane and outlandish things with very little work. The only real downside is the potential risk in your everyday life is if someone potentially dangerous recognizes you, however, even that doesn’t really matter. You may eventually acquire so much money you can financially ruin your naysayers should they try to act out illegally in some manner. And if you’re really worried about your safety you can always hire bodyguards with the money you acquire talking shit. Even if you do get hurt by an enemy and happen to die, it doesn’t really matter because life is meaningless anyway. At least you died rich.

Anyway, good luck, I know you can do it.

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